Musician Jokes, anyone?

[Rum Runner]

I just love jokes about musicians. Thought it would be cool if we posted our favorites. I'll start:

Little Johnny proudly said to his mother, "Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a musician!"

His mother answered him, "Now Johnny, be realistic; you know you can't do both."

[KR2]

Q: How does a Lead Guitarist change a lightbulb ?

A: He holds it and the world revolves around him.

[bloos66]

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: None. The Lead player can do it with his teeth.

[bloos66]

with sincere apologies, no offense intended!

Q: What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

A: A drummer.

[SMFC1]

I've got two for ya:

1. What's the difference between a guitar player and a mutual fund?
a: The mutual fund will eventually mature and earn money.


2. What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?
a: The large pizza can feed a family of four.

[NoteBoat]

with sincere apologies, no offense intended!

Q: What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

A: A drummer.

Q: What do you call a drummer who loses one stick?

A: A conductor

[NoteBoat]

Jimmy decides to take up the bass. Comes home from his first lesson...

Father: What did you learn at your lesson today?
Jimmy: I learned how to play root notes

Next week Jimmy comes home....

Father: What did you learn at your lesson today?
Jimmy: I learned how to play the fifths

Next week Jimmy comes home....

Father: What did you learn at your lesson today?
Jimmy: I don't have time for lessons anymore. I've got too many gigs.

[Alan Green]

Musical jokes?

Britney Spears, live in concert?

[KR2]

Awww . . . now, Alan . . . play nice.

[Gabba Gabba Hey]

Equal opportunity humor:

Q: How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?
A: Give him sheet music.

Q: How do you get a keyboardist to stop playing?
A: Take away his sheet music.

Q: What's the hardest three years of a drummer's life?
A: 2nd grade.

Q: What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
A: Drool.

Q: How many country bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One. Five. One.

Q: How does a bass player count 7/8 time?
A: 1-2-3-4-5-6-sev-en

Q: What's the definition of an optimist?
A: A musician with a mortgage.

Kenny G walks into an elevator and says, "Man, this place is HAPPENING!"

Q: How many jazz musician jokes are there?
A: Just one -- all the rest are true!

[greybeard]

What's perfect pitch?

When you chuck a trombone into a skip without it touching the sides.