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SSG10-Week11 You Are Love To Me

The Sunday Songwriters club is a stretching exercise for your mind. Arpeggios for the brain cells, so to speak. After all, writing is like playing - to get better, you have to practice.

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Postby jamestoffee » January 15th, 2012, 6:32 am

SSG10-Week11 You Are Love To Me

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11381156

=======Revised Version 2=========

From the first thought that greets me
You make waking up better than the dream
The warm hug and coffee that kisses me softly
The window that let's in the breeze
You are love to me; You are love to me

From the steam of the shower
The buttons and flowers the clean sheets and shaving cream
The moment; the sun rays; the start of a new day
You are the air I breathe
You are love to me; You are love to me

Chorus
You are everything I want
Everything I need
You are love to me; You are love to me

From the turn of my engine the seatbelt and driveway
The song of the city I sing
The smile and handshakes the text on my lunch break
The countdown at the end of the day
You are love to me; You are love to me

From the lamp posts and porch light; the evening the twilight
The better half of my day
The welcome home kiss the one I miss
The blessing at meals when we pray
You are love to me; You are love to me

chorus

From the night stand a soft light; a long lasting good night
Some pillow talk and some play
The breath on my neck; head on my shoulder
Growing older together
You are love to me; You are love to me

chorus

=======Revised Version=======

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11366266

You are the first thought that greets me
You make waking up better than the dream
You are the warm hug and coffee that kisses me softly
The window that let's in the breeze

You are the steam of the shower; the buttons and flowers
The clean sheets and shaving cream
You are the moment; the sun rays; the start of a new day
You are the air I breathe

Chorus
You are love to me
You are love to me
You are everything I want
Everything I need
You are love to me

You are the turn of my engine; the seat-belt and driveway
The song of the city I sing
You are the smile and handshakes the text on my lunch break
The countdown at the end of the day

You are the lamp posts and porch light; the evening the twilight
The better half of my day
You are the welcome home kiss the one I miss
The blessing at meals when we pray

chorus

You are the laughter and reason; the change of the seasons
The weekends and holidays
You are the future the past if anyone asks
You are the present I open each day

chorus 2x


=======Original Version=======
You're the first thought that greets me
You make waking up better than the dream
You're the warm hug and coffee
That kisses me softly
The window that let's in the breeze

You're the steam of the shower
The buttons and flowers the clean sheets and shaving cream
You're moment; the sun rays; the start of a new day
You are the air I breathe

Chorus
You are love to me
You are love to me
You're everything I want
Everything I need
You are love to me

You're the turn of my engine the seat-belt and driveway
The song of the city I sing
You're the smile and handshakes the text on my lunch break
The countdown at the end of the day

You're the lamp posts and porch light
The evening the twilight the better half of the day
You're the welcome home kiss the one I miss
The blessing at meals when we pray

chorus

You're the laughter and reason
The change of the seasons
The weekends and holidays
You're the future the past if anyone asks
You're the present I open each day

chorus 2x
Last edited by jamestoffee on January 21st, 2012, 2:36 am, edited 4 times in total.
jamestoffee
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Posts: 2778
Joined: November 22nd, 2008, 4:53 am

Postby andygetch » January 15th, 2012, 8:24 am

James,
I like it. Neat use of couplets. I like the IV - III - II - I riff turnaround you used in the IV chord at the end of the verse. I had to listen several times to catch the rhyming pattern, but thats OK. Just wondering if you tried "you are" instead of "you're", seems like that would reinforce the chorus hook. Just my quick take, keep what you like, toss the rest.
Andy
andygetch
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Posts: 328
Joined: January 2nd, 2012, 8:32 pm
Location: Fort Myers, Florida, USA

Postby jamestoffee » January 15th, 2012, 7:46 pm

Hi Andy,

andygetch wrote:ust wondering if you tried "you are" instead of "you're"

Thanks. I'll give it a try. :wink:
I was in my last few hours for the week to work on this....long week back to work...extra quality with family...report cards.....starting a cold.....a lot of reasons to not get a song done..... :cry: ....but as they say....."Just do it!"

Ever since the posts started going up on my Monday or Tuesday, my "golden time" to work on the weekend is gone, so I think I will be in the late submissions bin week to week, but I appreciate the listens and feedback :D

James

***POOF**** Changes made :mrgreen:
jamestoffee
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Posts: 2778
Joined: November 22nd, 2008, 4:53 am