Y9 W13 - Week Thirteen

The Sunday Songwriters club is a stretching exercise for your mind. Arpeggios for the brain cells, so to speak. After all, writing is like playing - to get better, you have to practice.
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DylanBarrett
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Y9 W13 - Week Thirteen

Post by DylanBarrett » January 28th, 2011, 10:13 am

Hi all,

Make of this what you will - I've just finished work and needed to clear my mind... Now, where's that other bottle...

I'll be on the couch to answer any questions later... Believe that... :roll:

Week Thirteen

Sittin' here drinkin' ice cold beer watching a day drag by
Been tryin' to keep my clients happy, it makes me want to cry
The dog runs round in circles, don't ask, I don't know why
The chickens couped up in their cage and wishin' they could fly

Only twenty blocks until we hit the open road
We'll stop beside the desert try and catch a horny toad
Don't look in the mirror keep your focus on the screen
I never felt this way before it must be week thirteen


The wind is blowing I can't hear the rush it's trying to make
My lungs can't seem to breathe the air it's hard to stay awake
Can't understand the language and my ears don't hear just ache
I'll have the window wound way down got nothin much to take

Only twenty blocks until we hit the open road
We'll stop beside the desert try and catch a horny toad
Don't look in the mirror keep your focus on the screen
I never felt this way before it must be week thirteen


Next week will be different week fourteen is looking good
I said some words this morning which he didn't understood
‘I think the motors broke can you look under the hood'
He said ‘hasta la vista, baby' and I reckoned that I would

Hasta la vista, baby
Hasta la vista, baby
Chill out, dickwad
No problemo


Thanks for reading.

Rock on!
D 8)
Last edited by DylanBarrett on January 29th, 2011, 6:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!

jamestoffee
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Re: Y9 W13 - Week Thirteen

Post by jamestoffee » January 29th, 2011, 2:17 am

Hey Dylan,

Looks like you've got some raw material to shape into one or two songs. I'm not sure what to make of it.....it seems random and cathartic in nature. :? ....I haven't scratched my head like trying to work out the meaning since trying to decipher some of Straycat's lyrics....and that's been a long time......Where has she been? :cry:

Suggestion:
DylanBarrett wrote:Been tryin' to keep my clients happy, it makes you want to cry
Been tryin' to keep my clients happy, it makes ME want to cry

Thanks for sharing.....I'm open for a road map to make the connections. :wink:

James

DylanBarrett
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Re: Y9 W13 - Week Thirteen

Post by DylanBarrett » January 29th, 2011, 6:43 am

Hey James

I'm really pleased with your comments. It's done what it says on the tin!

I was just finishing work after a 'trying' day sorting out some last minute conference details for a client, and thought that I'd see what was going on in week thirteen. I opened up a bottle of beer, put my feet up and started writing the first things that came into my head...and it actually went somewhere, so I'm pleased with it. Literally about half an hour and it was there.

Thanks for the read and the lyric change - that's been done

Rock on!
D 8)
I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!

jamestoffee
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Re: Y9 W13 - Week Thirteen

Post by jamestoffee » January 29th, 2011, 4:38 pm

Funny how the mind works. I woke up at 2:30 AM and had your lyrics in my mind. I thought I got. I know how it fits....this is the story that came to mind.....It's a bit like the movie "Monster" but in your lyrics the character walks away before all the killing happens
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_%282003_film%29

The main character can be a prostitute who works a stretch of desert highway for "johns/clients" and the wear of the job is starting to get to her.

in that case for the #1 character......We'll stop beside the desert try and catch a horny toad

could be......I'll stop beside the desert try and catch a horny toad......unless of course she is working with a couple co-workers for protection.

AT HOME BEFORE HER SHIFT
Sittin' here drinkin' ice cold beer watching a day drag by
Been tryin' to keep my clients happy, it makes me want to cry
The dog runs round in circles, don't ask, I don't know why
The chickens couped up in their cage and wishin' they could fly

Only twenty blocks until we hit the open road WHERE SHE WORKS
We'll stop beside the desert try and catch a horny toad WHAT SHE DOES
Don't look in the mirror keep your focus on the screen HOW SHE DEALS WITH WHAT SHE DOES
I never felt this way before it must be week thirteen JOB STRESS GETTING TO HER

The wind is blowing I can't hear the rush it's trying to make
My lungs can't seem to breathe the air it's hard to stay awake
Can't understand the language and my ears don't hear just ache
I'll have the window wound way down got nothin much to take.....DESCRIBING THE JOB STRESS


Next week will be different week fourteen is looking good TRYING TO COPE UP
I said some words this morning which he didn't understood A POTENTIAL CLIENT THAT DIDN'T WANT TO PARTICIPATE AND TOLD HER TO FIND ANOTHER JOB
‘I think the motors broke can you look under the hood' HE SAYS SHE HAS SOME MENTAL PROBLEMS
He said ‘hasta la vista, baby' and I reckoned that I would SHE AGREES AND THINKS ABOUT QUITTING

Hasta la vista, baby
Hasta la vista, baby
Chill out, dickwad
No problemo SHE'S RESIGNED TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER JOB

Well that's how I see the dots connect.....take or leave what fits :wink:

James
Last edited by jamestoffee on January 29th, 2011, 11:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

dhodge
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Re: Y9 W13 - Week Thirteen

Post by dhodge » January 29th, 2011, 4:59 pm

Hi Dylan (and James)

Maybe it's me, but sometimes a lyric is just a series of images and it's up to the listener to connect them. There are many songwriters who operate that way and it's got its good points and more interesting points.

After reading James' last interpretation of your song, I thought, "well, that certainly works," but I don't think I would have ever come up with it. I just took it all in as kind of a generalized frustration and escape daydream.

One that I enjoyed, by the way. My favorite line is in the chorus - "...stop beside the desert..." because to me it's an incredibly surreal image. Makes sense, people say "beside the ocean" all the time, but I think it's a wonderful non sequitur even though it's not. "Take the second left, across from the desert and you'll be there in ten minutes." Love it.

Only question for the gentleman on the couch is whether or not he had any music in mind when he was writing it?

Looking forward to more.

Peace

DylanBarrett
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Re: Y9 W13 - Week Thirteen

Post by DylanBarrett » January 31st, 2011, 3:10 am

Fantastic James - Rock on indeed!!!!

As David says, music is about interpretation and so many people write lyrics that are personal or about a subject that a listener can relate to in a completely different context.

The words started coming to me in real time, then I had to start adding the meat to the bones and make something of what I'd started. Verse two then started to go somewhere, so I had to finish it off....

I then read it through again and I thought I could see a story within a story, but left it at that, with no explanation.

I absolutely love your take on the song - yes, it fits and i wish i had the greymatter and lateral thinking to write songs like that all the time - unfortunately....

That is the power of song - excellent stuff!

David. Where the horny toad came from I'm not sure, but definitely Elton John had a part to play but I couldn't rip Bernie off - now could I :roll: . I did want it to be a bit surreal so I closed my eyes and i was in this old Cadillac, driving along a dusty road. i don't know what was on the left of the road, but on the right was desert with some rocks and a few shrubs and that was it, I pulled over and stopped and went hunting... Worrying how the mind works, isn't it?

As for music. I don't know. The Doors, Jefferson Airplane - something equally surreal...

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

It's good to be back.

Rock on!
D 8)
I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!

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stikman
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Re: Y9 W13 - Week Thirteen

Post by stikman » January 31st, 2011, 12:38 pm

Interesting lyrics. I've been contemplating the difference between literal story songs and songs that might be
described a poetic but are less obvious as to their meaning and often open to personal interpretation.

I like both kinds but desire to write some things along the lines of this song.

Anyway, enjoyed reading them. Thanks.
"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc

"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell

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