Helpless

Get help writing songs, find composers for your lyrics or set up songwriting exchanges. You can post messages here to find songwriting partners or post your lyrics and get feedback. Questions about copyright? They go here too.
Post Reply
Simplyenchanting
newbie
Posts: 10
Joined: January 18th, 2012, 2:50 pm

Helpless

Post by Simplyenchanting » February 7th, 2012, 5:56 pm

Hi! This is my second attempt at a song. I'm pretty happy with it, but I know there's plenty of room for improvement..so comments are appreciated! The vibe I'm think for the song is kind of a dramatic, slowish, "Rainy Season" by Hunter Hayes or "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift and the Civil Wars. I haven't worked with the music much yet, those are just my thoughts while writing. Oh and the song title I'm thinking is 'Helpless'. Thanks:)

Helpless

The rain is pouring down all around,
sitting on the porch  just listening to the sound, 
realizing you and I are slowly loosing ground,
 and I'm tiptoeing everywhere, 
Once broken there is no repair
Of this we're growing painfully aware

Ohhoh 
Star crossed lovers, forever apart
The world dead set against us, since the start..
we're helpless.
The fate of our love doomed to disaster
We can only watch as innocent bystanders..
helpless

And watch the moon beam through the window, 
finally give up on the things we used to know
Forgetting the sun and it's warm glow.
Dancing on the edge of forever,
As we hold our breath together
Caught up in this rainy weather

Ohhoh 
Star crossed lovers, forever apart
The world dead set against us, since the start..
we're helpless.
The fate of our love doomed to disaster
We can only watch as innocent bystanders..
helpless

And as the rain drops fall and hit the ground, 
so I feel our love is going down..helpless.
The thunder and the lightning will resound, 
but I'll still hear the sound of our love falling to the ground.
Helpless..we're helpless.
Last edited by Simplyenchanting on February 9th, 2012, 7:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

andygetch
Full Member
Posts: 328
Joined: January 2nd, 2012, 8:32 pm
Location: Fort Myers, Florida, USA

Re: Helpless

Post by andygetch » February 8th, 2012, 9:04 pm

Simplyenchanting,
A good start. Its always good to like what you write. I like the rhymes. The descriptions and person references are coming along. Keep writing!

Simplyenchanting
newbie
Posts: 10
Joined: January 18th, 2012, 2:50 pm

Re: Helpless

Post by Simplyenchanting » February 10th, 2012, 11:21 pm

Haha thanks for the response!

Post Reply