Search found 551 matches

by chefie
March 7th, 2014, 6:45 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W18 - Loretta
Replies: 3
Views: 614

Re: Y12W18 - Loretta

Hi Renee, Nice work! A couple of suggestions . . . . Loretta, Things never get better. Shouldn't it be Things never got better? In the last verse, the use of Perdition is a great way to sum up your feelings. And I really like that image. Just not sure if the rhyme of Instruction and Perdition works....
by chefie
March 7th, 2014, 6:31 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W18 Deadlines
Replies: 5
Views: 1253

Re: Y12W18 Deadlines

Hi James, I suspect your portfolio of English lessons is becoming quite impressive. It's always fun to imagine the reaction of students to these precious works. Do you actually use them in teaching? Anyway, adjectives aside, I think you could use the chorus as the complete song. Love listening to it...
by chefie
March 7th, 2014, 6:24 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W18 - Deadline - w MP3
Replies: 3
Views: 612

Re: Y12W18 - Deadline - w MP3

Hi James,

You bring up an interesting point and you're right. My inclination is to lose the authoritarian voice. I"ll see what I can come up with in a rewrite. Thanks. I always appreciate the time and effort you contribute to this forum. :D
by chefie
March 6th, 2014, 9:24 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W18 - Deadline - w MP3
Replies: 3
Views: 612

Y12W18 - Deadline - w MP3

Attended the funeral of a very good man last week who lived a very good and very giving life. Makes one think about deadlines . . . . . . . DEADLINE http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=12711317&q=hi Waking up, another fine day gotta make time gotta find a way do all the things...
by chefie
March 6th, 2014, 9:24 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W18 - Deadline - w MP3
Replies: 0
Views: 505

Y12W18 - Deadline - w MP3

Attended the funeral of a very good man last week who lived a very good and very giving life. Makes one think about deadlines . . . . . . . DEADLINE http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=12711317&q=hi Waking up, another fine day gotta make time gotta find a way do all the things...
by chefie
February 13th, 2014, 1:38 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W15 - The Good Ship
Replies: 4
Views: 829

Re: Y12W15 - The Good Ship

Thanks David. Really good suggestions that I will incorporate. I prefer your first option as the second doesn't hold true to the story. I can't believe you're forgetting your "Shirley Temple." :lol: Music wise I think you're pretty much on point.

Neil
by chefie
February 13th, 2014, 10:56 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W15 - The Good Ship
Replies: 4
Views: 829

Y12W15 - The Good Ship

Okay, I know this is stretching this weeks topic a bit. Not quite school memories . . . . but kinda . . . . and in memory of someone dear to many of our childhoods. . . . . I've the music worked out but not enough time this week to record. THE GOOD SHIP The good ship Lollipop still flies to Candy La...
by chefie
February 13th, 2014, 10:11 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W15 - School Daze
Replies: 4
Views: 843

Re: Y12W15 - School Daze

I knew the moment I wrote "teach" that it was out of character. Couldn't get it passed those eagle eyes. Consider it changed! Not quite sure of the music yet . . . . . . Thanks for your comments and suggestions all.

Neil
by chefie
February 12th, 2014, 10:08 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W15 - School Daze
Replies: 4
Views: 843

Y12W15 - School Daze

SCHOOL DAZE I remember waking up late, it was definitely not cool trying to get my act together, couldn't be late to school homework wasn't done. I didn't care. I had a good friend, and I’d knew he’d share I’d always get to my first class not a moment too soon it was only September, couldn't wait u...
by chefie
February 7th, 2014, 12:18 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG12 - Week14 - Dancing with Ghosts - mp3 added
Replies: 19
Views: 3549

Re: SSG12 - Week14 - Dancing with Ghosts - mp3 added

Wow! Wonderful MP3. Really enjoyed it.

Neil
by chefie
February 5th, 2014, 10:40 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12 W14 - Dancing with Ghosts
Replies: 4
Views: 985

Y12 W14 - Dancing with Ghosts

Still working on the music. DANCING WITH GHOSTS I’m dancing in the dark but no one can see just who it is that is dancing with me I should be dreaming but I’m awake I’m dancing with memories I can’t escape just a simple two step, who leads, who follows when yesterday is gone and there is no tomorrow...
by chefie
February 5th, 2014, 10:22 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12 W14....Dancing With Ghosts.
Replies: 9
Views: 2218

Re: Y12 W14....Dancing With Ghosts.

Hi Vic, Nice to have you back! Great topic this week. One question comes to mind . . . . In the first verse you write the truth haunts my dreams You never mention this again and it would seem to me that there needs to be some resolution to this before the ghosts go back to the past. The resolution a...
by chefie
February 5th, 2014, 10:11 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG12 - Week14 - Dancing with Ghosts - mp3 added
Replies: 19
Views: 3549

Re: SSG12 - Week14 - Dancing with Ghosts

Hi Paul, Love the lyrics and I actually like that you'll didn't use the title in the verses. My only question would be with regard to the bridge - Sometimes I can almost feel you breathe I can’t let go and you can never leave I'm wondering about "you can never leave" Just not clear to me the reason ...
by chefie
January 17th, 2014, 5:52 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG12 - Week8 - Castles in the sky - mp3 - Remastered
Replies: 21
Views: 3153

Re: SSG12 - Week8 - Castles in the sky - mp3 - Remastered

I'll keep this minimal . . . . . . nicely done, Paul. Really enjoyed it.

Neil
by chefie
August 10th, 2013, 6:48 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG Year 11 Week 41
Replies: 3
Views: 591

Re: SSG Year 11 Week 41

Four, please, kind sir.