Search found 2130 matches

by pbee
January 5th, 2016, 8:56 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y14_W10 - Digital Ghost
Replies: 1
Views: 3298

Re: Y14_W10 - Digital Ghost

Hmm interesting. Im sure Descartes would have approved maybe his ghost does too :D . For me this song has a Digital Birth theme, attaining life/knowledge if you will. I see it as that of a ghost becoming self-aware within the digital world of music, and therefore hits the brief, well done. In terms ...
by pbee
January 5th, 2016, 8:13 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG14 - Week10 - Imagine You
Replies: 5
Views: 4114

Re: SSG14 - Week10 - Imagine You

Hi Lingdar thanks for the feedback. but I don't like the word "managed." I get that it goes well with the imagine for sound purposes but I feel the meaning is too corporate/strict/??? to go well with the rest of the song. Yes you might be right there, thanks. Maybe something along the lines of And a...
by pbee
January 3rd, 2016, 5:50 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG14 - Week10 - Imagine You
Replies: 5
Views: 4114

Re: SSG14 - Week10 - Imagine You

Thanks for the feedback Renee I think the specific works better too. Thanks David some great ideas that I’ll borrow if I may. It always amazes me how songs develop. The first cut of this song had Imagine you, you’re a protector Imagine you, kai-tai-te-tanga As the chorus with the fish, bird tree the...
by pbee
January 2nd, 2016, 4:44 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG14 - Week10 - Imagine You
Replies: 5
Views: 4114

SSG14 - Week10 - Imagine You

I’m going to choose “totally ignore” ;-). Although reading the assignment has inspired me to post where otherwise there wouldn't have been a ghost (digital or otherwise) of a chance. This song I’m in the process of writing is a commission (unpaid) from a friend who has written an environmental child...
by pbee
November 11th, 2015, 11:38 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Sun Song Yr 14 Week 1 - Where Did We Go Wrong
Replies: 3
Views: 1744

Re: Sun Song Yr 14 Week 1 - Where Did We Go Wrong

Hi guentherb121, I think there is potential here with a couple of tweaks. For me the song would benefit from some assertion in the chorus on the lines of say “together we can find that place….. together there is no ….”. As it stands there just seems to be more questions. So the new pattern of your s...
by pbee
April 6th, 2015, 1:31 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W23 Everybody
Replies: 2
Views: 1165

Re: Y13W23 Everybody

Hi James, nice little song here that fullfills the brief well. Given the fundamental message is that everybody needs somebody/someone and that everybody is somebody/someone, I think I would make the connection a little stronger in this verse Someone was washing the windows Somebody brought the mail ...
by pbee
April 6th, 2015, 12:44 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG13 - Week22 - Secrets
Replies: 2
Views: 1141

Re: SSG13 - Week22 - Secrets

Hi James thanks for the comments,

"AND hold YOU tight"
absolutely, I like that a lot (why didnt I think of that :o ).

Im going to stay with the
"The things we feel will keep us here tonight"
because for me its the transition from logic to emotion which is the real secret.


cheers

Paul
by pbee
April 5th, 2015, 5:54 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG13 - Week22 - Secrets
Replies: 2
Views: 1141

SSG13 - Week22 - Secrets

Man I’ve had a busy time of it lately, so have’nt been around here for such a long time. Most of my spare time lately has been in my home studio re-recording a collection of my songs that I will publish as a CD or iTunes. Café Culture Santa Monica Still Blue Castles in the sky Road to Somewhere Calo...
by pbee
February 4th, 2015, 9:37 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W14 Zoom, Zoom, Zoom
Replies: 5
Views: 1417

Re: Y13W14 Zoom, Zoom, Zoom

Works for me.
Although the last line here
The head light’s smashed
Tire tracks across his back
But no one asked where she’s been
I think
But no one asked where he’s been
feels better in this context for me.
The recording definitely has that trucker atmosphere.

cheers
Paul
by pbee
November 17th, 2014, 12:08 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y13W2 There’s A Large Gaping Hole in Everyone
Replies: 4
Views: 1612

Re: Y13W2 There’s A Large Gaping Hole in Everyone

I love it. I think the whistling is really the point, reminds me a little of Jack Nicholson in "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest". I can imagine this being sung a folk mass or prayer gathering, for me the whistling is grace, which indeed fills the hole. One thing I would like to hear is the plucked st...
by pbee
September 4th, 2014, 12:57 am
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W44 Procrastination
Replies: 8
Views: 1673

Re: Y12W44 Procrastination

Hi Neil,
I like it :D and I especially like your chorus thumbs up on that.
David wrote:"I always chose the third"
yes I think that would be good too.

My favorite is this one
sitting in this big uneasy chair
well done

Paul
by pbee
September 3rd, 2014, 10:12 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG12 - Week44 - Gratitude
Replies: 4
Views: 1094

Re: SSG12 - Week44 - Gratitude

Hi David, yes I think "who's " could go. The thing about this song for me is that there are almost two songs here and I'm not sure which one to write. 1) the play on the prey versus pray and 2) the gratitude / love / prayer relationship. So I went with combining them together. There really needs to ...
by pbee
September 3rd, 2014, 1:23 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG12 - Week44 - Gratitude
Replies: 4
Views: 1094

SSG12 - Week44 - Gratitude

Normally I start off with the music and then adapt the lyrics. Seeing as I didn't have any music I wasn't going to write a song this week. However I did anyway by borrowing someone else’s :roll: . If I ever put this to my own music the phrasing will change. Its really just a way of capturing an idea...
by pbee
September 2nd, 2014, 12:29 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: Y12W44 Eat an Extra Dessert Day
Replies: 6
Views: 1781

Re: Y12W44 Eat an Extra Dessert Day

Hi James,
well done with this, I like the crowd soundbites at the beginning and end.
:D :D :D
cheers
Paul
by pbee
August 30th, 2014, 2:02 pm
Forum: Sunday Songwriters Group
Topic: SSG12 - Week43 - I'm not lost - mp3 added
Replies: 11
Views: 1979

Re: SSG12 - Week43 - I'm not lost - mp3 added

James and David thanks for the listen and feedback. I didn't spend much time mixing and mastering this so yes there are a couple of spaces were the vocal gets lost. Generally some judicious frequency compression of the other tracks in the mix can open up some room for the vocal. I've been experiment...